Good to be a loner

People sit around, chat, play, gossip.

But I sit in a corner, busy in my own world. Reading, or browsing the net for abstract things. Or just about anything other than what the larger group is doing.

I don't have anything against them. They are friends, I am usually a part of the activities, but today is not that day. It is something I do many times. Just be by myself. Enjoying my alone time. I will be with them when I want to be. And they respect this about me.

That is what friendship is about. I accept their various idiosyncrasies and they accept mine.

People are a package deal. The good, the bad, the ugly and the weird.

We automatically accept this about our friends but somehow fail to do it with relationships. The romantic partners are expected to fit the idea of perfect partner in our head. Is this what is wrong with our times? The idea is imaginary, but the person with us is real. Why do we ignore this? This is universal. And everybody is unhappy.

The person who doesn't find the perfect partner is unhappy. The person who pretends to be the idea in their partner's head is also unhappy. They have suppressed their real self to make someone happy. And it still doesn't last. It is a deception.

I stand away from the crowd and observe all the pretentions. People pretending to be model employees for that minor promotion.  Then living the rest of their life in misery.

People pretending to be always happy, and hiding their tears in the rain.

People pretending to be perfect sons and daughters and never revealing the pain of sacrifices. Always assuming that the sacrifice will be appreciated. And always being taken for granted because they are expected to be perfect. They are not allowed to fail, not allowed to make independent choices or decisions.

I see this. Everyone trying to belong. Hoping to be accepted. Conforming to expectations set by others. Ignoring the life they want. To live the life they are expected to have.

Is this the reason for so much unhappiness around us today? Is this why everyone is dissatisfied?

Why are we all running so much? What are we trying to achieve? What have we achieved so far? Are we really happy with what we have achieved? How many times have we stopped running for a minute and asked ourselves these questions?

When the running is over, am I going to be content with the life I lived? What loves, and passions, and interests have I killed to earn the things I was expected to earn?

Do I really want what I have right now?