Well, I travel to work in a bus. Office transport, luxury and air-conditioned bus, with satiny blue curtained windows, individual a/c vents over each seat. Very comfy seats at that!
Yes, OK I will stop boasting. I know I know, everybody travels by luxury bus many times and it is no longer a big deal, yada yada yada. But we travel in this thing every single day. Ta-daaa!
Oh yes, I stay far away from work so it takes one hour to reach. And the comfort makes it easier to travel. I get to doze for 15-45 minutes and reach office fresh.
Sleep also means that sometimes you get to dream. Most of the time, you dream about random stuff which really doesn't make any sense when you wake up. But it is hell lot serious when you are in that dream. Mostly, it is something related to the daily routine, personal things, family or friends. But most of the time about work, colleagues, and more work.
The other day, my team-mate was telling me that she has been dreaming about us (our team, work, etc) everyday and she hates it. She doesn't really hate us, but c'mon! You are with a bunch of loons half of the day, every single day for 5 days a week. No matter how adorable they are, at least when you are in the comfort of your house and especially while in deep slumber, the last thing you want is to meet this bunch. Again!
I like my dreams to be a bit like an escape. Something that is fantastical or soothing etc. Basically, anything that is faaaaaaaaaar away from reality but very feel-goody, tickly, rose-tinted glasses type dream. Sigh, that rarely happens.
But, sometimes, you get lucky. Like I did.
I believe I dreamt about my past life. It was a sunny day. I was in a huge private garden/lawn. It had these expansive grounds. With verdant green grass. Sloping, manicured lawns, stone work fences, arches with creepers crowning them, studded with flowers. It was very vast and curving, with steps up here, down there. Large, sloping and lazy steps in a place which seemed quite natural. Each step was overgrown with grass or weed-like greenery. Then there were quick and short, stone steps at many other places. The sun shone happily over this world and it was a lovely afternoon.
There was an airy stone mansion in the distance. With arched windows whose borders were painted red. It was this geru red, which is the colour of natural red clay. The walls were white. There were pristine white curtains at the windows. Broad verandahs with cane and bamboo furniture, upholstered with old-fashioned seats and cushions. There were potted plants and flowery shrubs all around the periphery of this mansion. And there were these evergreen, leafy and cool-shaded trees growing around it.
This is actually a common feature in old bungalows or mansions built for government officials in small towns or villages. Typically the highly placed officials who keep getting transferred from place to place, en famille. And they are given these lovely residences wherever they get posted, for as long as they are to stay there.
In my dream, I stopped as soon as I saw this mansion. I didn't go in. I really really wanted to. As if this was my house. Everything was so peaceful and quiet. Like a lazy summer afternoon. The summer vacation type of feel in the air, when you don't need to go to school for a couple of months and are free to roam and while away your time. No questions asked. Not only that, it had such an old world charm to it. Like it just didn't belong to this era. I felt as if I had been transported back in time to those days when life used to be much more simpler, the pace of life was slower and you could trust everyone you knew. I could imagine myself sitting in a wide swing, sipping on some tall and cool drink, maybe home-made raw mango juice!
But my true self had half awoken seeing this amazing beauty. So my dream self could not step into her own house. My true self kept saying that I was trespassing on someone's perfect world. And slowly, the dream broke and I woke up. How very disappointing!
But the scene stayed with me. I kept seeing it over and over again in my mind. Why did I wake up?
I yearn for this picture that I saw in my dream, but it is so far removed from my reality that my conscious mind rang warning bells and brought me back to solid, stark and harsh truth. I am in a bus, on my way to work.
What if this dream wasn't a dream? (Oh yes, brain! I won't give up nor will I give-in to your practical thought process)
So, what if this wasn't a dream at all? Was it a half-remembered day from an actual life I have lived? I really like that thought. I believe in re-incarnation. Whenever I visit old buildings or historical sites, I get filled with this strong urge to hunt for a time machine and go back in time. It feels as if there is this really thin veil which is keeping me away from that era and I just need to lift it. But I don't know how! This dream, too, gave me the same yearning, the same urge. To go back in time and never return.
I wish I could live those long, lazy days. With no TV. Meeting people in the neighbourhood daily. Having a very limited social circle. Living with an innocent belief that the people you know very well are always trustworthy. Not having to worry about big ambitions and long-term goals and planning well ahead. A simple life with very basic needs and a lot of happiness.
Or was this dream a projection of this urge of mine? Because I want to run away from my reality for while and I long for a simpler, more peaceful life, I just conjured-up this image which worked like a soothing balm for my tired Soul. Maybe.
Life has become so harsh, so insecure. Maybe, the past days were not so rosy and maybe those past people lived a rougher life than I imagine. But I do imagine it was a fuller life.
When children used to actually run outside and frolic freely. Parents didn't have to worry about kidnappings or worse crimes happening to their babies. The open areas were left well alone and were not eyed by greedy developers. When people used to put pen to paper and write long letters. They DID care about handwriting and grammar with full sentences and complete words. An era when texting was not invented (how I miss those days, only because people used to make efforts with spelling).
A time when egos were not so bloated and interpersonal relationships were solid. When trust and belief were not just words, but really meant a great deal.
I wish I could go back. I know that I can't. Nobody can. But I really wish life would become a little less complicated than it is now. I wish we could trust each other more and become worthy of each other's trust. I wish we would be less superficial and more grounded. I wish people would stop being so besotted with outer looks and started giving more importance to the intrinsic uniqueness of each person.
I wish I could live in a world like this. I wish.....
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment