Bird’s eye view

I take off on a flight of fancy. Imagine myself detached from the routine. Look at life like an observer rather than a player. Observe myself being the player. The set, the characters, the story, the music…….all playing it out like a film. Like flying in the sky, far away from the events. But still observing all the events as they unfold. In my own life.

Breaking away all the bonds that tie me to my life.

......being on the road at night. Rubies of tail-lights shining ahead of me. Diamonds of head-lights approaching from the right. All these vehicles moving between the vigilant eyes of three rows of street-lights. When I reach the top of a fly-over, the sight of an entire road full of rubies and diamonds stretched out till the horizon, climbing on the next fly-over.

......the various soft toys arrayed in the back windows of so many cars. Sometimes a kid on the back seat, looking out of the window and giving a shy smile, or making a funny face, or frowning for no reason. Sometimes, a pet dog looking straight at me and staring as if it has known me all my life.

 

......a bike ride to nowhere. Scenes, houses, meadows, hills, people, buildings, colours, sounds and noise………
All part of just a passing moment of my life. I move ahead and they cease to exist for me. Get replaced by something else, which too passes in a moment. But each moment carving out it’s own chapter in someone’s life as I breeze past and become part of the background for them.

And I keep soaring. Now touching the sky, now skimming over the road. Fleeting feelings, which sometimes brush past my heart, sometimes cause pain, sometimes stay with me forever no matter where I go.

I have left so much behind me. I have come so far ahead. There is nothing but the wide, infinite spread of the sea and the sky, the sound of gulls, the swish and splash of the waves, the salty tang in the air and complete peace in my heart.

Like I have reached the end of my journey. This is where I always wanted to be. Nobody to be seen. Just me and the sea and the sky. And my Almighty, deep within my heart.

I wish I could stay here forever. Where nothing and nobody reaches me. No people to judge me, nobody to cause any pain, no expectations to meet, no restrictions of time and tide and no society trying to make me their own.

But I always need to turn back. Go back to the old grind.

I wish I could stay here forever. Where the sea meets the sky and there is nobody in sight. Where the whole world is behind me and I have left all behind. This is where I belong. This is who I am. This is where I am accepted as who I am. This is where I needed to be all along.