The Critic

Of all the various talents bandied about town, the most subtle is criticism. Oh yes, it's a talent! After all, giving an opinion which nobody has asked for and making sure that it is not only heard but also, at times acted upon, got to be appreciated!

When a kid, with eyes full of dreams and positive plans for the future, proudly tells their parents what subjects they want to pursue in college.....give me one example where there has been immediate and total acceptance of his/her dream/goal/ambition. Can't think of any, can you?

When you chose to work at your current job/position, how many supporters did you get?
"I still think you should have been more persistent with the HR of XYZ" (Well, I gave the interview and I know they didn't select me. If you are so confident, why don't you try there?)
"Wait for some more time, keep trying at other places, you will get a better package" (And you will be paying for my household expenses in the meantime, I presume?)

No matter where you go, weddings, funerals, parties, just commuting.....they are all around you. From telling you exactly how to stand in a crowded Mumbai local train to telling you how your deceased uncle could have survived a few more years, if he had followed their advice.....they have it all sorted in their arm-chair philosophy.

How do you distinguish between someone who genuinely wants to help and The Critic. Well, it's simple. A person who wants your well-being to be prioritised, will provide sound advice, many times agreeing with your decisions and providing sensible and practical thoughts.

The Critic will be just that. Criticising everything and everyone on a wholesale. They are highly opinionated and they want to express their tupenny-worth ideas irrespective of whether anybody is listening or is interested. They will sneak-up on you when you least expect and will not leave you till they had their say about --> what you are doing at that time --> why it is wrong--> how it should be actually done--> how someone else who followed this advice is now extremely rich and successful--> how someone else who did not follow their advice is totally ruined in life.

Did an image just pop-up in your head about someone you know? Aah, now you get it! See? That is The Critic.

So, how do you deal with them. Haha. You can't deal with them! When you see them, you gather all your things and run!
If you can't run, then you listen to every single thing they say.....and do the exact opposite! And watch the fun.

The Critic gave a friend quite an earful for the choice of wall-colour and told them to paint their walls pale yellow. The friend painted them pale green instead, plus added a single wall full of rich, velvety red paper with exotic self-design. They got compliments from all and The Critic went green with envy. Maybe The Critic is now telling you how my friend's wallpapered house has seepage and has ruined everything inside and out!

The Critic told me to wear a golden anarkali to my cousin's wedding and offered to lend me their own. I politely refused and wore a midnight blue lehenga. Well, I heard they were talking about why I will never receive any marriage proposals my whole life and how many "boys" have rejected me!

They are among us. They exist and carry on with their talents. You can't always escape them, but you have to learn survival skills. You may banish some known Critics from your invitation list, but someone you invited might turn out to be a newly-born Critic. You just learn to recognise one and stay alert to deal with them.

The Critic should always be treated with caution and the correct dosage of disdain.

Let them be themselves, leave them alone. And never criticise a Critic! Let them talk and rant. You are under no obligation to do what they say. Just don't tell them that. Doing things your way is enough to put them off and look for another prey.

So beware! They are on the prowl. You could be next!

Midnight snack + movie + romantic jazz = lazy weekend

The problem with working night shifts is, you are perpetually confused on weekends. Should I sleep the whole day off and stay awake at night? Or should I utilise the day to complete pending work from the week and sleep at night? But then if I sleep on Saturday and Sunday night, I won't get sleep on Monday morning. I will be awake all day and in the evening I gotta work!

I won't talk about the solution. I have given up finding one just because it's the same story every weekend.

I just follow my whims, basically.

So, today I read a book. Mystery thriller. I love those. Then had dinner while still reading it. Kept reading it till late in the night. By the time I got bored of reading more, I was hungry.

So out comes a piece of cheese, a big helping of flavoured cheese-spread (yeah, I love eating all the yummy things) and a large bunch of grapes. It has to have the accompaniment of a nice movie. I decided on Gosford Park.

Story based in early 1930s, old English countryside, large mansion, too many servants, titled people.....the whole nine yards. Well, this is not a review for the movie. I am just a sucker for all the British-landed-gentry-melodrama stories. I love watching Downton Abbey.

I get totally lost in these period dramas. The life seems so totally removed from reality. These people are always getting dressed to the nines, looking pretty, hosting dinners and hunting parties and soirees and never have to do a single day's hard work. They have a posse of servants working for them! Imagine someone hovering over you, helping you wear your clothes and accessories and then end of the day, hovering over you, helping you undress!! Creepy!

Yeah well, each to his (or her) own. Can't deny that the movie had lovely music. I especially got thoroughly lost in the melody of  "The Land of Might-Have-Been" – Ivor Novello (Sung by Jeremy Northam). It plays twice, once during the movie and again during the end titles.

Beautiful, soulful.........this song took me back to sunlit summer afternoons, laidback days, daydreaming and lounging. With nothing to worry about. No responsibilities. Life, when it used to be brimful of promise and everything was right with my world. And I am still lost in that world of dreams.

"We shall never find that lovely land of Might-have-been;
I can never be your king, nor you can be my Queen;
Days may pass, and years may pass,
And seas may lie between;
We shall never find that lovely land of Might-have-been."

--------------By Ivor Novello, 1924

----Courtesy - https://chandlerozconsultants.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/the-land-of-might-have-been-britain-1936-37-chapter-one-the-road-to-the-berlin-olympiad/

A series of unfortunate incidents

I had a minor setback today. Needed to wait back at work extra for an activity. Then while leaving, got to know that there is a major traffic jam on my regular route. So we decided to take another route home. Got a flat tyre on the way. Finally we are on our way home again.

This made me analyse the changes that have taken place in me. A few years ago, I would have been extremely angry and short with everyone in the same situation. Today, I am calm and just focussed on the resolution.

Maybe, it is just experiencing life in general. Maybe, it was some effort I put to control my short tempered nature over the years. Maybe, it is just a natural change with changing times.

It is a good change and made me think over my whole day today. I faced a disappointment personally which had completely spoilt my mood. I was upset, lost in my thoughts, irritable and waiting for the day to get over.

Then towards the end, these above things happened. But they didn't affect me more. I stayed normal and took it in my stride.

I guess I must just focus on the good parts of the bad events daily and not just on a day when I am happy. Unfortunate things will keep happening. Life will continue to throw surprises. Not all of them would be welcome from my standpoint. But why waste time, energy and my positivity for these little everyday things?

This is routine. Shit happens. You move on. I should keep telling myself this daily for now. Maybe, this is also something I will soon naturalise.

Emotions are energy. What happens with me, what people say or do around me is all energy. I am attracting these things towards myself. And I know this. So, let's stay focussed on being positive. Spread cheer and it will come back. Who wants to be surrounded by gloomy darkness, anyway!