Living on rent is a tiring life. Constantly changing houses, moving out, packing, unpacking, never settling.
Every house has a story. Most are just structures. You create a new story in each. Then you move on to the next.
Some, however, come with their own stories. These are always mysteries. Sometimes, something, stays behind after the previous tenants are gone.
It permeates the walls. Seeps through the floors. Whistles from gaps in windows. Hangs heavily from the ceiling.
Enters our life. Uninvited. Uncalled for.
Many years ago, we left a story behind in our own house, when we sold it. Our story ended there but I am sure something got left behind. I don't know how that story affected the new owners.
This time, Life gave a payback. A story lives here. Untold.
It defeated me. Broke me. Drove me out.
Less than 48 hours left here now. We are going away. We surrender.
Last thoughts?
A deep sense of Gratitude for this house. It is shelter - a place where we laughed, lived, celebrated, those small wins. This unknown story of this house made me stronger spiritually. It made me a better person. It brought out maturity, humility, patience.
This story insidiously burrowed into my well laid out plans. Effectively destroyed them. Ate away all remnants of ego. Broke all my defences.
I have better prospects now. Stronger will. Thankful, is what I feel for being broken. I got time to recoup, rebuild, reform.
My faith is so strong, that I am leaving a part of my story behind now. The story which I know well. That story which knows no defeat. The brooding energy of this house will be destroyed after we have physically vacated it, because my story will stay to fight. I want to make sure that the story in this house doesn't destroy the tenants who come after me.
My faith, love, strength, optimism, GRATITUDE, will stay behind. This house will become a positive structure for whoever lives here once we are gone.
Thank you for all you gave me. Thank you what you took away. Thank you for removing my doubts. Thank you for strengthening my beliefs. All I feel for you is gratitude.
Thank you!
If only the rocks
Would talk
If only the trees
Condescend to please
What have they seen?
What did they hear?
What secrets do they carry?
Of travellers who tarry.
If only I knew
Of all those
Who walked through
This world 'fore me
If only I saw
The glories of past
The victories of old
All ancient deeds
Tales of the bygone
Era of unknown
Times of the past
Tense and glad, all
No I won't abide
In the present of time
My heart beset of lore
Of days past galore
Those gracious, grave wenches
Those lads courageous
Tales and stories
Old and gracious
Oh transport me there
Where time doth stand still
Oh bring forth that age
Life had more meaning still
Lead me from here
This frivolous shallow vale
Bring forth that shore
Breezy, windy, gale
I pine like a sore
Open wounded bird
I belong not here
Know not elsewhere
Eccentric my demeanor
Lost is my Soul
Broken my Heart
Fretful Life, as a whole
Fill in that gap
Sow me that Hope
Wholesome the weed
With flowers of dope
Endless to the sleep
Flailing no more
Calm let me lie
In those lands of lore.
This ocean runs in my veins. It is me. I am but a drop in it.
Calm, yet restless.
Moving, and yet still.
Deep as depths. Shallow waves on the beach.
Paradoxical, moving yet unmoving, emotional and destructive, but soothing and comforting.
Only someone raised in a coastal region could relate to this behemoth. You can't ignore it. You are born to love it. It emcompasses your whole being. This ocean. This mere waterbody is everything.
Imagine diving into the depths. The silence. The complete and total isolation. That enormous sense of suppressed power, pulsating all around.
Bouying, cool water surrounding your being. Threat of the unknown. Primal, lurking sense of foreboding. Sharks, whales, who knows what! And yet...
And yet, that stupendous sense of powerful surrender to nature. The never ending, ever stretching, all encompassing vastness of saltiness. That brooding, moving mass which makes you float on itself and yet threatens to gulp you down its own unknown depths.
So why am I never scared of that water? Why do I feel so effortlessly powerful in that ocean? It soothes me, while stirring me with action. It teases me into mischief while calming down the repressed anger. That sea calls me and wants me to drown myself in its own depths, while egging me onwards with living my best life.
It binds me to itself with ancient promises, and unshackles me to live my days on my own terms.
I am made of the sea. I belong to the sands. The sea breeze lives in my tresses. I walk where the moon rests. I am the coast.
Waiting...
That eternal wake, that soul crushing certainty. That ecstatic emotion. I am the feeling of doom. To the sea I merge.
Of the sea I form...
I am drifter being
Straying away
Unshackled, unchained
Riding the waves
Drunk on fun
Where would
This path go?
Where does it
Lead on?
How would
This way fare?
How green,
Thy meadows!
Fly high, up to
The bright, blue sky
Float on clouds
Say, wassup dude with lute!
Sun setting,
Moon rising,
Tide crashing,
World spinning...
Psychedelic dreams
Colourful dreams
Rising above streams
Rainbow beams
Never ending music
Everlasting songs
Ride the tide
Of ecstasy
As long as it lasts.
There would be no fall
To this high
There is no end
To this fantasy.
Kublakhan happened
In an opium haze.
Wonder what occurs
In my beer daze.
Castles in air etc
Aiming high praise etc
Wandering outta comfort zones
Reaching elusive tropes
I achieve this
In stupor.
Wonder what I get
Sober.
High I am
On happiness today,
Treading clouds
And dreams of the day.
Stupid hopes,
Hopeless dreams,
Dreams colourful,
Colours rainbowful,
Rainbows unicorny,
Unicorns psychedelic!
Gimme gimme this life
Life of hopes
Hopes of peace
Peace of the sea
Waves of the sunny dales
Dales of wintry shine
Shining moony nights.
Riding on tides,
Happy rides.
Gimme gimme this stupor
This happy torpor
End this pain endless
Endless be the fantasy,
Fantastic be those shores
Mother of pearl cores.
Gimme this year long
Ride along
Dear ride along...
Soft twittering outside the window
Feel of a beloved pet's warm fur
And their heartbeat
Sound of fluttering wings
Breeze in the boughs
Spring blooms
Summer siestas
Walking barefoot on grass
Or sands of a calm beach
Ebb and flow of waves
Surf spray, salty sea breeze
Sitting at the window, watching the world go by
Rain pattering lightly
Hot chai on a winter morning
Vacation days or long weekends
Late mornings and warm bedding
Dinner outings
Movie and lunch plans
Long talks with an old buddy,
Sitting on a bench,
No track of time
Fresh air, greenery, flowers
Holding a sleepy kitten while it dozes
Watching birds fly free
Little things,
All around us.
Just to be lost in these small things,
Brings peace and joy,
Makes the world right itself,
Energises the Soul,
Lightens the Heart.
For others, let there be
Sweeping, flaming victories.
Give me the well thumbed book,
The slow pace of daily life,
The mundane, the ordinary, the small matters of tiny twittering, mewing creatures,
The sea shore and the peace.
Small little joys
Daily.
Intoxication and anger,
Deadly cocktail.
I have been sleepless
Past so many nights.
Tonight I shall dream,
Of determination and goals.
Give up, I never will,
'Coz nobody taught me that.
This night is happy,
This gal is dangerous.
Dear life, my love,
Stop cornering me so.
You know I shall win,
You know I shall spar,
You know it isn't wise,
To corner me so!
Every single instance,
When you challenged me.
I beat you and humiliated you.
Stop this nonsense.
This is a determined gal,
With nothing to lose.
I will win always.
Fate surrenders to me
Each time.
Accept defeat,
Dear Life.
We can still,
Co-exist in peace.
Why are you fighting a losing battle?
Why do you put me in a spot?
What is the point of it all?
I will win, and humiliate you,
Like always.
Independent.
Self-made.
Determined.
Confident.
Positive.
I am a threat to you,
My dear Life.
Stop and accept defeat,
While you can
You know I will win.
I know I will win.
Like always.
I am dangerous when cornered.
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