The Critic

Of all the various talents bandied about town, the most subtle is criticism. Oh yes, it's a talent! After all, giving an opinion which nobody has asked for and making sure that it is not only heard but also, at times acted upon, got to be appreciated!

When a kid, with eyes full of dreams and positive plans for the future, proudly tells their parents what subjects they want to pursue in college.....give me one example where there has been immediate and total acceptance of his/her dream/goal/ambition. Can't think of any, can you?

When you chose to work at your current job/position, how many supporters did you get?
"I still think you should have been more persistent with the HR of XYZ" (Well, I gave the interview and I know they didn't select me. If you are so confident, why don't you try there?)
"Wait for some more time, keep trying at other places, you will get a better package" (And you will be paying for my household expenses in the meantime, I presume?)

No matter where you go, weddings, funerals, parties, just commuting.....they are all around you. From telling you exactly how to stand in a crowded Mumbai local train to telling you how your deceased uncle could have survived a few more years, if he had followed their advice.....they have it all sorted in their arm-chair philosophy.

How do you distinguish between someone who genuinely wants to help and The Critic. Well, it's simple. A person who wants your well-being to be prioritised, will provide sound advice, many times agreeing with your decisions and providing sensible and practical thoughts.

The Critic will be just that. Criticising everything and everyone on a wholesale. They are highly opinionated and they want to express their tupenny-worth ideas irrespective of whether anybody is listening or is interested. They will sneak-up on you when you least expect and will not leave you till they had their say about --> what you are doing at that time --> why it is wrong--> how it should be actually done--> how someone else who followed this advice is now extremely rich and successful--> how someone else who did not follow their advice is totally ruined in life.

Did an image just pop-up in your head about someone you know? Aah, now you get it! See? That is The Critic.

So, how do you deal with them. Haha. You can't deal with them! When you see them, you gather all your things and run!
If you can't run, then you listen to every single thing they say.....and do the exact opposite! And watch the fun.

The Critic gave a friend quite an earful for the choice of wall-colour and told them to paint their walls pale yellow. The friend painted them pale green instead, plus added a single wall full of rich, velvety red paper with exotic self-design. They got compliments from all and The Critic went green with envy. Maybe The Critic is now telling you how my friend's wallpapered house has seepage and has ruined everything inside and out!

The Critic told me to wear a golden anarkali to my cousin's wedding and offered to lend me their own. I politely refused and wore a midnight blue lehenga. Well, I heard they were talking about why I will never receive any marriage proposals my whole life and how many "boys" have rejected me!

They are among us. They exist and carry on with their talents. You can't always escape them, but you have to learn survival skills. You may banish some known Critics from your invitation list, but someone you invited might turn out to be a newly-born Critic. You just learn to recognise one and stay alert to deal with them.

The Critic should always be treated with caution and the correct dosage of disdain.

Let them be themselves, leave them alone. And never criticise a Critic! Let them talk and rant. You are under no obligation to do what they say. Just don't tell them that. Doing things your way is enough to put them off and look for another prey.

So beware! They are on the prowl. You could be next!

Midnight snack + movie + romantic jazz = lazy weekend

The problem with working night shifts is, you are perpetually confused on weekends. Should I sleep the whole day off and stay awake at night? Or should I utilise the day to complete pending work from the week and sleep at night? But then if I sleep on Saturday and Sunday night, I won't get sleep on Monday morning. I will be awake all day and in the evening I gotta work!

I won't talk about the solution. I have given up finding one just because it's the same story every weekend.

I just follow my whims, basically.

So, today I read a book. Mystery thriller. I love those. Then had dinner while still reading it. Kept reading it till late in the night. By the time I got bored of reading more, I was hungry.

So out comes a piece of cheese, a big helping of flavoured cheese-spread (yeah, I love eating all the yummy things) and a large bunch of grapes. It has to have the accompaniment of a nice movie. I decided on Gosford Park.

Story based in early 1930s, old English countryside, large mansion, too many servants, titled people.....the whole nine yards. Well, this is not a review for the movie. I am just a sucker for all the British-landed-gentry-melodrama stories. I love watching Downton Abbey.

I get totally lost in these period dramas. The life seems so totally removed from reality. These people are always getting dressed to the nines, looking pretty, hosting dinners and hunting parties and soirees and never have to do a single day's hard work. They have a posse of servants working for them! Imagine someone hovering over you, helping you wear your clothes and accessories and then end of the day, hovering over you, helping you undress!! Creepy!

Yeah well, each to his (or her) own. Can't deny that the movie had lovely music. I especially got thoroughly lost in the melody of  "The Land of Might-Have-Been" – Ivor Novello (Sung by Jeremy Northam). It plays twice, once during the movie and again during the end titles.

Beautiful, soulful.........this song took me back to sunlit summer afternoons, laidback days, daydreaming and lounging. With nothing to worry about. No responsibilities. Life, when it used to be brimful of promise and everything was right with my world. And I am still lost in that world of dreams.

"We shall never find that lovely land of Might-have-been;
I can never be your king, nor you can be my Queen;
Days may pass, and years may pass,
And seas may lie between;
We shall never find that lovely land of Might-have-been."

--------------By Ivor Novello, 1924

----Courtesy - https://chandlerozconsultants.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/the-land-of-might-have-been-britain-1936-37-chapter-one-the-road-to-the-berlin-olympiad/

A series of unfortunate incidents

I had a minor setback today. Needed to wait back at work extra for an activity. Then while leaving, got to know that there is a major traffic jam on my regular route. So we decided to take another route home. Got a flat tyre on the way. Finally we are on our way home again.

This made me analyse the changes that have taken place in me. A few years ago, I would have been extremely angry and short with everyone in the same situation. Today, I am calm and just focussed on the resolution.

Maybe, it is just experiencing life in general. Maybe, it was some effort I put to control my short tempered nature over the years. Maybe, it is just a natural change with changing times.

It is a good change and made me think over my whole day today. I faced a disappointment personally which had completely spoilt my mood. I was upset, lost in my thoughts, irritable and waiting for the day to get over.

Then towards the end, these above things happened. But they didn't affect me more. I stayed normal and took it in my stride.

I guess I must just focus on the good parts of the bad events daily and not just on a day when I am happy. Unfortunate things will keep happening. Life will continue to throw surprises. Not all of them would be welcome from my standpoint. But why waste time, energy and my positivity for these little everyday things?

This is routine. Shit happens. You move on. I should keep telling myself this daily for now. Maybe, this is also something I will soon naturalise.

Emotions are energy. What happens with me, what people say or do around me is all energy. I am attracting these things towards myself. And I know this. So, let's stay focussed on being positive. Spread cheer and it will come back. Who wants to be surrounded by gloomy darkness, anyway!

Detachment

The ebb and flow of life goes on endless and we are mute witnesses. Caught up in the daily grind of ambition, greed, love, sorrow, humour..........we forget to stop. We are so used to running, always trying to reach somewhere, that we never enjoy the present moment.

When you stopped at the signal today, did you notice the slum children playing within their fragile, insecure compound walls (at most times, no walls dividing their shanties from the street)? They are oblivious to the honking, screaming, abuses, petrol fumes and dust and pollution. Do you ever wish to live a few moments like that?

When you are going in and out of your society or just having a stroll on the lawns, have you observed your neighbour's children in the play area? According to the urban, civilised and educated thinking, this is the ideal play atmosphere, isn't it? Did your mind go back to those slum children?

Ideal or not, these kids have created their own world. They are unaware of the society's rules of wrong, right, just and unjust. They are living just this moment.

Do you really talk to your neighbours? Do you know who stays next to you? When you see that young couple, busy with work but going out on weekends, spending quality time together, laughing with their little kid, do you feel happy? Or do you remember all the various break-up stories and divorces you witnessed within your family and friends' circles?

How do you perceive the mundane scenes presented to you by the Universe? Have you even given it a thought?

Do you bother to question the reality around you? Are you aware of the wide Universe spread across existence? Are you concerned about the people around you?

There is this one chance at living that we all have.

Say hello to people you meet daily. It is not a big effort.

Maintain those hobbies. Don't sacrifice them for all those so called noble reasons. Keep the music of your life alive. Attachments are all good, but not to such an extent that you stop living.

Go out with your buddies. Go to crazy places. Have a crazy time. Now is the time to do this. Would you have the capacity for adventures when you have accumulated a lot of money and retirement has given you free time?

We have this mad perception that extra work hours spell hard work and loyalty. NONSENSE!
First of all, if you are doing overtime daily, you are insulting your colleagues who finish their work during regular office hours and go home to provide time to their families. Secondly, you are neglecting yourself and your loved ones.
Finish your work within the regular work hours. Stop encouraging the robotic, zombified, workaholic culture which is being worshiped these days.

Take some pride in yourself. Your surroundings. Your city. Your Nation. Your culture. Stop being so critical about everything. Be compassionate. Be positive. Every culture has it's quirks, but that makes us unique from the rest. Learn to be proud of your roots.

Strive to make a difference. Become aware and create awareness. We all take care of our private lives and responsibilities. That doesn't mean we should stop bothering about our surroundings.

Learn to detach yourself from personal duties. Your Soul is not made to entangle itself in this mirage of life. This is a temporary phase and your Soul has to move on to higher planes of existence. Why punish yourself by getting deeply involved with all the sorrows and fatigue?
Do your duties, but learn detachment. Live, laugh, enjoy but stay detached.



Yes, we all are breathing. We exist. But we should learn to live. Life is about being one with this Universe. Being aware of a higher purpose.

Life is meant to be lived. Fully. Selflessly. Happily.

Reflections of a sick leave

So, you are unwell since a couple of days. You are on sick leave. You are resting, as the doctor ordered you to stay at home. But the mind doesn't want to rest. It keeps going on free-flight, either worrying about personal things or about work issues.

Best thing to do. Distract yourself.

I have been watching some TV series on you tube. Some movies, English and Hindi. Listening to some music. And sleeping a lot.

This particular sickness has given me a lot to think. I am brooding, planning, re-considering a lot of decisions. My phone has been beeping with various types of messages (text, email, whatsapp etc) and I am not bothered enough to get up and check who is trying to contact me. This solitary reflection is more important.

So, when you analyse and reflect on the current situation of your life, your future goals, how much has been achieved (or discarded) as per previous plans - basically take a critical view of your current life - are you really happy?

I don't think anybody is completely happy with their achievements at all times. I am not. But I am still satisfied with my current life. Up-to a large extent. There is a lot more to be done. The journey is not over yet. There is a long way to go.

Overall, it is a gloomy evening today. Time to self analyse, criticize and plan ahead. No, this is not a happy prospect. Today, the mind wants to wander into practicalities and not dreams. So be it.

Roadies and Reality

Now that was some episode. Sonel is finally out. Ab bache sirf 2. I think Nihal should win. If he wasn’t a deserving Roadie, he wouldn’t have made it so far. Ashutosh survived because no one took him as a serious threat. Yeda banke peda kha raha tha. Now its time for him to leave. The voted out Roadies are all bad losers. They just keep abusing each other and the ones who went ahead. Yes, this season is real nasty. But frankly, who gave Vikrant the right to call Sonel a retard? If he is so smart, why didn’t he utilize the second chance that he was given. He was called back. What happened? Nihal put him in his right place. Literally. And Anmol and Shambhavi just keep shouting about Nihal abusing girls. Isn’t there a limit to a guy’s patience. You just keep using him for your own gain and expect him to keep his mouth shut all the time? No way. I am on his side. I mean, these girls are simply silly. They make comments on each other’s looks and clothing and God only knows what else. Inko kisne Roadie banaya, bhai? They should join the Teen Divas next door. The same thing keeps happening there.

This week’s episode of Teen Diva was fun. The girls were judged on their intelligence and knowledge. And most of them proved that they are only good at posing. I didn’t have anything to do on my Sunday, so I watched what happens on Teen Diva. Trust me; I am not watching these silly girls again.

Now I am waiting for the last episode of Roadies. Wanna see what happens next. Nihal should win. He truly deserves it. There’s a new show coming up. Something called Splitsvilla. I’ll check the first episode. Right now it doesn’t sound all that interesting.

There is nothing to watch on TV on weekends. There was a time when all the good programmes used to be shown on Sundays. Now, we have the same movies, same stupid serials. Some of these reality shows are good. But not all of them. TV channels should do something about re-inventing programmes. Else, very soon there will be no viewers. I would rather hire or borrow or buy a DVD and watch it. At least I like what I am watching and nobody is force feeding the content to me.

Once this season of Roadies is over, it’ll be a little boring. I hope they start the new season soon. I also hope that the Splitsvilla thingy is good. If it is, maybe I’ll have something to look forward to on Sunday.

The best way to pass your Sunday is to read. If I don’t like anything, I just start reading. That reminds me, I should get a good bookshelf made once I am done moving into the new house. I hate shifting houses. God please give me a permanent abode in this junglee city. Please give some buddhi to these builders. Please tell them to let us buy houses which fall within our budget. Please God, please do something about all the greedy builders. They don’t let us live in peace.

This week I will find a good house and move into it with ease. Amen.

Saturday Moody and Crazy

Good day to start a new blog. Saturday. No work to do. People like me can’t even sit idle. What do you do with your spare time and pretend to be very busy? Open a new Word Doc. Start typing your new blog post. Everyone around you thinks you are creating a new business proposal for the client.

A cartoon dog wearing shades peeps at me from my pen-stand as if it knows what I am up to. I am ignoring the pooch. There’s no one available on chat, too. How can people be so busy on a Saturday? And I actually thought that I am the only unfortunate person who doesn’t have Saturdays off. Sigh!

The pooch is smirking.

The bad part of working on a Saturday is that I miss the Roadies show. I have to watch the repeat telecast on Sunday. I don’t mind. Ab bache sirf 3. I think Ankita (Simran) was quite stupid. She had a chance to vote-out anybody. ANYBODY. And she decided to stick to her bike!! I can’t wait to see what happens today. Hope they have a late night telecast.

Who should I bad-mouth on my blog? It’s a fashion nowadays. Aamir Khan does it. The Big B does it. Maybe I should write about my colleagues. Who should it be? Maybe, Ms. Attitude……or Mr. Stare-your-eyeballs-out……..or Mr. Gossip-gossip. I can feel horns growing out my temples. “Too much of Devilish influence will be around at your workplace today.” I should have read my tarot forecast for today. But I never read it. Maybe now I should.

So much blah-blah going on inside my head. I guess that’s how people write blah-blah on their blogs. Good way to vent out. Can’t tolerate the decibel levels inside your head? Write a blog. Don’t have anything to do at work? Write a blog. Pooch with shades doing a jiggy on your desk? Abuse him on the blog.

So, what are you doing on your blog? Jig-jig-jig-jigga-jigga-jig. What am I doing on a blog? I wanna jig-jig-jig-jigga-jigga-jig. So I am gonna dance with the pooch in shades doing Jig-jig-jig-jigga-jigga-jig